My first day being impeccable with my word:
I was excited and scared at the same time. I felt like I do when I am starting a new diet. I get so motivated about losing 10-pounds, but after four days, my stomach trumps my zeal. I don't want this to die a similar fate. I need this to stick.
So knowing this about myself and knowing what was in store for me for my day, I decided to get serious. I armed myself. I meditated first thing in the morning to quiet my mind. I wore turquoise (good for the throat chakra). I stuck a notebook in my purse so if I absolutely needed to vent, I could write it down. I hopped in my car and thought about my mouth-promise on the drive into work.
The result: I didn't gossip yesterday—and… it was really hard. There were so many opportunities to jump in with a sarcastic remark or an eye roll, but I didn't. When tempted, I did my best to quickly redirect my thoughts. I'm realizing that gossiping is not the source of the problem- it is the end result of a bigger problem: thinking negatively/critically about others. Seriously- this is HUGE. Railing on others is a thinking problem which leads to gossiping- a talking problem. Thinking precedes talking.
Was I totally impeccable with my word? Did I only use my word in the direction of truth and love? Well…I can't say that. I had a couple moments when I started heading down the wrong road, but I caught myself. For me this is great progress and a strong start. I’m really good at day one.
Let’s see how I do after a couple of glasses of wine this weekend.
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I think just adding this level of awareness to your speech and intentions changes everything. Think if we all walked around being actively aware of how our words and thoughts affect each other?
ReplyDeleteI think this is especially hard for comedians and artists who have purposely trained our brains to be highly observant and then create a funny take or twist on those observations. It's another type of awareness that's key to our art, but it so often gets out of control, and devolves to negatively impact our every day interactions and habits. Good start, Pam!
That is so brilliant-- you're right! We do need to be highly observant. I suppose working as an analyst so many years hasn't helped either!
ReplyDeletePutting in the effort is feeling good, but I still have so far to go- it isn't just a faucet that you decide to turn off and then that's the end of it. My untamed mind is a booger.
Pam,
ReplyDeleteThis is fantastic, but I have a question. And this isn't to challenge you, but really to challenge myself, because I have a similar issue. I'm all for speaking the truth, when possible. But sometimes truth isn't pretty and it can be hurtful. I know that I often try to hide true, but hurtful things inside of funny comments, and it rarely works. I also notice that I often lash out and gossip or become snarky when feeling insecure and threatened. This is an immaturity issue I deal with personally, and I'm not saying it's something you're dealing with, because I think you're way more mature than I am. But I was taken by the juxtaposition of the words truth and love, because even though I think those things often go hand in hand, truth and love can also be hurtful and painful. I was just wondering how you'll deal with that when it arises. Just thoughts to ponder on a St. Patrick's Day evening.
Chris:
ReplyDeleteI love to hear that you struggle with these things too. I often feel very alone on this issue-- because I do feel I am the most immature person I know.
So, on the truth-- here goes: there's the truth to your feelings which are based on your thoughts which come from your own story/past. So someone may say something to you which you may interpret a certain way, based on your past. That is the truth too, so I would keep that in mind.
So going along with the 4 agreements-- being impeccable with your word is the first agreement. The second and third agreements are: don't take anything personally and don't make assumptions. So now, if you were to apply those thoughts to your situation, what do you think? I'm curious.
Also, I'm thinking, there are probably some situations/people that are not healthy for me. The truth for me would be to let them go. If they matter to me, I have to tell them the truth. This requires courage and grace-- to say it without blame or the intention to harm. All easier said then done. I am regurgitating what I've read. I still need more practice. I currently have a situation right now that I am grappling with on how to handle. These kind of exchanges really help. You are beautiful :)