It's an issue I have struggled with my whole life: my mouth. As early as the 6th grade the words "No Gossiping" were displayed in large black letters on the cork board on my bedroom wall.
Well, now I'm in my 40's and I am still dealing with this issue. I've read a lot on the topic (the Four Agreements, Buddhist literature on Right Speech) and tried all kinds of remedies (going on silent meditation retreats, meditating, practicing mindfulness, etc.) but I persist in spewing crap out of my mouth when I'm angry, irritated, or just plain bored.
I really do believe Don Miguel Luis, author of the Four Agreements, when he says that by being impeccable with our word- that is, using the word in the direction of truth and love- we can change our life. Could it be that this orangutan on my back could be the single reason I am not fully happy? I want to experiment with this, but I just find it so difficult. I'm an external processor and I'm Irish/Italian (and my Mercury is in Leo)-- so I feel it is a genetic impossibility for me to not run at the mouth when I feel offended. Still, I feel like if I could do this ONE thing-- it might make all the difference in my little world. I have felt this for years. I am tired of thinking about it, I want to do something about it. I want to use my words in the direction of truth and love.
I watched "Julie and Julia" a couple of nights ago and got inspired by the power of blogging. Could blogging about this help? Maybe it would hold me accountable. Though I am afraid of trying and failing AGAIN, I want nothing more.
I'm going to blog on this as often as I can in an effort to reach my goal of word impeccability! I'm going to share what I can about my life and the challenges with my mouth while also trying to protect those around me-- I can't be impeccable with my word AND tell the world my ugly stories--though my mouth would love that!
So why today? Because this morning I really lost it. I'm in a very challenging situation right now at work. I have felt betrayed and wronged-- a great reason to rip on others behind their back, right? So I sprayed word poison on two innocent co-workers and it left a sticky film on me and I'm sure on them. This situation at work challenges me to my core, but it is providing me with a great chance to practice letting go and refrain from verbally contaminating myself and others going forward. It really is the blessing calling me to change. (And all of it is a wonderful lesson in self-forgiveness and embracing my humanity).
Here goes World! My mouth-- an instrument of Truth and Love! Angels Come Hither!
My journey to bring more awareness to the words that leave my mouth.
Followers
The Four Agreements
Pam,
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your goal. It is a noble one. I too, struggle with gossiping. Keep us posted on your progress. You might end serving as inspiration!
Thanks Erika. I'm off to the battleground this morning. Just having the couple of comments I have had is helping me to commit and is holding me accountable. We'll see if this works!
ReplyDeleteI was actually thinking about this on the way home yesterday. I'm just as bad, and I need to work on the same gossiping issue. I encourage you to listen to this radio station that I listen to. Their slogan (or whatever you call that) is "Positive, Encouraging KLOVE" (91.1FM). I obviously need to get back to listening to it myself, but it really is a positive station and I think we get a lot of negativity in this world. I'll do my best to watch my spoken words as well as my written words, and we can help each other with this terrible, sinful, and addicting thing we call gossip! We can do it!
ReplyDelete~ your coworker in crime
Thanks for sharing this Pam! I too am guilty of this. It's hard when we’re surrounded by a tremendous amount of negativity throughout the week but I have a feeling things are looking up. :)
ReplyDelete