Last weekend I got sucked into an episode of the Real Housewives of New York. In a nutshell it's a show that highlights the gossiping and tantrum-throwing behavior of female homo sapiens. It's so very ridiculous. So much so that I could not turn it off. As I continue on my journey to stop gossiping and be impeccable with my word, I had to explore the question, why am I attracted to seeing women at their worst? Here is what I came up with:
First, I think watching the lengths people will go to for an elongated camera moment is fascinating and something I can relate to. I was a class clown at my high school and while some of that means I like to have fun, another part of it is that I needed to be the center of attention-- a lot. So I guess getting kicked out of class and showing up to dances in roller skates was a way to be funny but also a way to get attention. So I am intrigued in watching others who totally throw decorum out the window in an effort to draw attention to themselves. At the heart of it though is some sadness. Needing approval in the way of attention is a disease I have suffered from and still struggle with on occasion. Maybe watching these women is a way for me to see how I've grown over the years. I do relate to them and I guess in a way, feel sad for them (because I know that sadness)...
Second, I'm also interested in seeing women my own age and the paths they've chosen. What is it like to be a Manhattan socialite? Also, I love to see these 40-somethings struggling with the vanity issue, as I do. Beauty is fading for us all and I like to see how they are dealing with it (mostly with surgery). I think my shallowness loves the company of their shallowness.
Third, I think I am enjoying watching people engage in a behavior that I am trying to change in myself. On some level maybe it is cathartic to watch them gossip and speak their minds. Ultimately though, I think for me it has had the effect of reinforcing my goal to watch what comes out of my mouth. Maybe this goes with the vanity point above, but gossiping and continually playing from the "small self" is really unattractive. Having played in that sandbox for a long time, I know that it always leads to bad feelings about myself. So watching it on television is as powerful as it was to look at the lungs of a smoker in science class to keep me from smoking.
I'm reading "The Happiness Project" right now and she mentioned one of her commandments is to "act the way you want to feel". I just loved that. I hate the way I feel when I engage my lower self. I love the way I feel when I acknowledge that I want to go there, but I refrain. It really, for me, holds my self-esteem in place.
First, I think watching the lengths people will go to for an elongated camera moment is fascinating and something I can relate to. I was a class clown at my high school and while some of that means I like to have fun, another part of it is that I needed to be the center of attention-- a lot. So I guess getting kicked out of class and showing up to dances in roller skates was a way to be funny but also a way to get attention. So I am intrigued in watching others who totally throw decorum out the window in an effort to draw attention to themselves. At the heart of it though is some sadness. Needing approval in the way of attention is a disease I have suffered from and still struggle with on occasion. Maybe watching these women is a way for me to see how I've grown over the years. I do relate to them and I guess in a way, feel sad for them (because I know that sadness)...
Second, I'm also interested in seeing women my own age and the paths they've chosen. What is it like to be a Manhattan socialite? Also, I love to see these 40-somethings struggling with the vanity issue, as I do. Beauty is fading for us all and I like to see how they are dealing with it (mostly with surgery). I think my shallowness loves the company of their shallowness.
Third, I think I am enjoying watching people engage in a behavior that I am trying to change in myself. On some level maybe it is cathartic to watch them gossip and speak their minds. Ultimately though, I think for me it has had the effect of reinforcing my goal to watch what comes out of my mouth. Maybe this goes with the vanity point above, but gossiping and continually playing from the "small self" is really unattractive. Having played in that sandbox for a long time, I know that it always leads to bad feelings about myself. So watching it on television is as powerful as it was to look at the lungs of a smoker in science class to keep me from smoking.
I'm reading "The Happiness Project" right now and she mentioned one of her commandments is to "act the way you want to feel". I just loved that. I hate the way I feel when I engage my lower self. I love the way I feel when I acknowledge that I want to go there, but I refrain. It really, for me, holds my self-esteem in place.
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